Happy Wednesday fellow readers! Am I the only one that thinks August is going WAY too fast?! We have about 2-3 days left of August before September swoops on in! Crazy, huh? Idk if it’s just me but, I’ve been super amazed at how fast time has been going!
Let’s be real, I’ve been feeling meh lately. More so today, than normal. TBH, I was diagnosed with anxiety. And, let me tell you, sometimes I feel like my mind is going 500 times faster than everything around me! It’s debilitating & exhausting. Sometimes I’m panicking before things happen cause I’m over thinking.
I’ve gotten better at battling my anxiety but, there are days where sometimes I can’t control it. Today, was one of those days. Truth, be told my anxiety is the cause of a lot of my insecurities. Sometimes I can’t even go on social media or even my blog because I’m so afraid of what people are posting or saying. I get anxious even if it has no correlation to me what so ever!
I used to be fearless. I’d stand up in front of a crowd and be the loudest emcee or host and could easily pump up a crowd, effortlessly. I used to be able to give public speeches and not flinch or break a sweat. Today, if you tried handing me a microphone I’d probably just hand it right back. If you needed me to stand on the stage even if it was just for placement I’d probably run & hide. I wasn’t like this though. But, anxiety made me this way.
There’s moments of confidence that I have where I laugh at my anxiety, but, than I’m quickly reminded that I still have it. I’m slowly coming too and trying to remember and embrace who I am & that it’s ok. And, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that, I embrace change. But, for some reason when I began to change, I became afraid.
I became afraid of who this new person was or who this new person became. I couldn’t recognize myself or identify myself in ways in which I was comfortable. I knew it was still me but, I didn’t feel the same. I grew to be more vocal about things, I learned to speak my mind and not be afraid. Which is fantastic. That was something I was lacking. But, it also terrified me that I (at times) wasn’t afraid to speak up.
And, sometimes I would speak up and I wouldn’t be ready for the retaliation. That’s when anxiety would kick in. I’ve been questioning my confidence and my ability to do things. When I know whole heartedly I can do things, anxiety jumps in and makes me second guess myself.
This is something I’m constantly working on, I want to better myself and find myself again. Anxiety, isn’t fun. Today, was one of those days where I caved in and let anxiety control me. Sometimes a break from reality is all we need. I did just that, I looked at my to-do list and pushed it aside. Instead I spent time with family & played with puppies. And, who doesn’t LOVE puppy therapy?! I sure did!
So, Here is my reminder for you, be kind. You don’t know what battles someone is going through. You don’t know what they’re feeling until you’ve walked in their shoes. Anxiety takes a toll on a lot of people, including myself. Be present, be there & be an ear to listen. Sometimes that’s all people need. =]